son or slave

Every day, I'm glad I am where I am now, and not where I was before.

My life has been great, but moving forward constantly is the best way to be!  One thing I've been faced with in preparation for marriage is the way I have held on to stuff, party because I thought it would be my only chance to have some things.  I have held on to 'stuff' for waaay too long.  Doing that a lot can cause a general sense of stagnancy in one's life.  I have known a few people who have at one time given every thing they owned away.  I hear it is one of the most freeing, fun things you can ever do!  If you believe in God, then He really just takes care of you.  Even if you don't believe in Him, He usually takes care of you anyway.  I mean, is He real or not?  I know I talk about this a lot, but I think I am starting to really believe in Him.  

It is a great feeling to jump off a cliff, once you get over the fear of doing it.  Flying free through the air...ahhhhhh!  (We actually get to do that a lot in Boone!)

Stuart has been asking God to provide money he has needed.  Then when God provides it, he has been giving it away!  Then he mysteriously gets more.  Then he gives that away, and mysteriously gets more again.  I'm serious!  We are testing what this God that we read about has said, and it actually works!! It is really neat to see this.  But it has required some serious cliff jumping... (but I've figured: the worst that could happen is we would be living under a bridge somewhere surviving on tuna and apples...but how bad would that really be? We won't actually die from hunger or homelessness.  Anyway, we've got some family and friends that love us and would let us sleep on their porch or something if things really got bad).

 I want to detach myself from the fears/cares/worries of the world and live above it all.  We don't have to be imprisoned by fear/care/worry.  This God is real.  Heaven is real, and it loves to come to earth.  We are supposed to be bringing heaven to earth.  We don't have to be slaves to the world, and I will not be a slave, how 'bout you? 

I will!

Third and final marriage counseling session with Brad completed tonight;  some thoughts on the ceremony and vows; 100 invitations sent out;  hundreds of beautiful bridal portraits posted on a secret website... under 60 days to go... Stuart's biceps steadily increasing in size as both our teeths increase in whiteness.  

Not sure if I've mentioned how sick I am of cleaning houses every day, but I'm making the most of it that I can!  I have gotten so fast lately at my job!   I am really looking forward to a new job where I can use more brain and less brawn.  

I wish everybody could sit down and talk with Brad about marriage.  It is extremely hopeful!!  Stuart faithfully typed up notes during each session that will most definitely be revisited often.  Things are much more hopeful than we are taught by the world.

I HAVE THE DAY OFF TOMORROW!!

shut me up and let me out!

Sometimes love means keeping your mouth shut.  I have been encountering those type of situations a lot lately!  It is hard to do!  But really, my opinion is not always the thing someone needs to hear.  I hate to admit it, but it's true!  There are actually many other reasons to keep the mouth shut in order to love, in numerous situations.  It's very interesting.  God has been teaching me that I need to talk more sometimes, but then completely zip it other times.   

God did a great job creating summertime in Boone.  I have done some combination of hiking/swimming/bouldering/waterfalling on 4 out of the last 7 days!!  I have been reminded how glorious a grill, picnic table and friends can be when all combined in perfect weather.  Forgot how good a short dress feels.  Also reminded of the incredible effects lightning bugs create, and the joyful songs birds sing right outside my window around 7 am.  I LOVE SUMMER!!

One year later

I can't believe we made it a year!!  When we decided to set our wedding date for 14 months after getting engaged, I thought it would be completely miserable to wait so long.  But now, one year from Stuart's proposal, things have just gotten steadily better and better.  I think the timing is actually perfect- for the engagement, and for the marriage, as far as I know- I mean, I'm no expert and I can't really see the future very clearly...

But somehow, seeing how quickly a year went by just seems to be significant.  Things always do happen when they need to... finding a house, a spouse, a job.  Things always work out somehow.  

Oh, and another thing- I felt some slightly sad feelings after we got engaged because getting engaged is something a girl waits for her whole life!!  It seems like this ultimate thing to achieve, and after it happened I had a few thoughts of disappointment, like some of the good things in life were over and things would only get boring from there. But it's not true!!  Really, I have come soo far personally in the past year, and Stuart and I have gone through a lot of crap since then and I wouldn't go back in time if I could!  So that's a relief, huh?!

Speaking of relief- I believe my arms are covered with poison ivy.  I went hiking/swimming Thursday, Friday and Saturday.  I believe this blessed rash was contracted from my girls only hike on Saturday.  We saw a tiny snake and (unrelatedly) completely forgot to look for the poisonous plant.  We also got caught in an ear-splitting thunderstorm and I hiked in a bikini for awhile after swimming, so who knows where else I might start itching!!  

'pouff'

I went veil shopping today.  Veils are hilarious.  They are just a piece of pouff on your head, and you can easily pay $250 for one.  

I make a very funny bride, I think!  I have no idea what I want for any of these millions of things that I was supposed to have been thinking about my whole life.  I'm still not exactly sure what my 'colors' will be, and I've been planning this wedding for a year.  I'm getting my bridal portraits done tomorrow, and I still don't know how I will wear my hair or makeup!  I have such a hard time with all these decisions- it's quite humorous.  Between me, Stuart, and Mom, we spent about 2 hours today scouring over all the fonts we could find on our computers to pick one for invitations.  

But I am loving it.