On a more positive note:
Today, I got to see a lot of fruit in the Junaluska neighborhood while giving out food! We have been going there every Wednesday since around November, and there are always some ackward times- just because it can feel uncomfortable helping someone, because it insinuates you're in a better place than them and from there the devil tells you all kinds of lies about why you should just leave them alone, you arrogant, ignorant, over-privileged city kids!! At least that's the crap I constantly ignore in my head.
The truth is, it is an extreme honor to serve Jesus in these people; to fulfill a dream I have had since childhood; to learn from the people we talk to and to be blessed by them. It is humbling because I see so clearly that I can offer nothing apart from God. I feel like a crumpled up piece of paper walking around because I have to just empty out everything from my mind and rely on the Lord to move through me.
It really is more blessed to give than to receive. After giving out food, I always feel great because it has taken my focus off of myself, and also I have served Jesus, which is an exhilarating feeling!
Even though this ministry has presented many challenges and opportunities for me to have to 'die' to my self (which is painful), God has moved through it! Somehow, we have been catching so many people at 'just the right time'- usually after they lost a job and had no money. One of our friends today always initiates prayer when we come to her house. I think maybe one week Stuart asked if he could pray for her after she told us the incredible amount of pain she was in, and that's how it got started. Today she had a bunch of friends over and suggested we pray for one of the guys whose wife was in the hospital after a bad car accident. She started praying "God, I really don't know how to pray and I'm not any good at it..." and went on to say that she hadn't prayed in many years until we started praying with her, but now she prays. We prayed for her too, and all the pain in her arms from stress went away. We were able to tell her some really simple truths: You don't have to be under this burden- you can just let it go! That truth alone is so profound.
It is incredible that we carry around the kingdom of heaven inside of us. It is incredible what it does when you take it into a dark place. People want it so bad because it IS peace...love...joy...hope... and all those things that are the deepest longings of the human soul.
And it is incredible that we are able to release it all over the earth!
2 comments:
Beautiful!
YES, YES, YES!
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