I can trust

God healed me of some deep trust issues today!  Also, I ate at Hokkaido and watched Swiss Family Robinson.  A very good day!

answers?

This is sort of to follow up my previous, desperate posting.  Things have been happening, a little.  Stuart and I realized we have more contacts in Charlotte than we realized.  We spent Saturday in Greensboro and being away from the 'clouds' of Boone, we (especially Stuart) got some good perspective and clarity on practical steps we need to take towards success in the money/jobs area.  Don't ask questions- it stresses me out.   Trust that we are working on this constantly, and we really trust God will bring jobs and money in it's right timing.  

Another thing I was pleading God for was direction in getting our wedding planned!  Progress is happening there too, in it's perfect timing.  Thursday, we met the lady we will hire to bake a cake for 250 people.  She is awesome, and her cakes are amazing.  She lives in a town of 45 people.  We are the only wedding she has scheduled for this summer so far, but she loves doing wedding cakes, so I think she will put a lot of heart into ours!  Wedding guests, be ready to enjoy!

On Friday, I went to Did Someone Say Party? (great store name huh?) and tried on my wedding dress, which came in about a month ago but I hadn't gone to try it on because well... I had been feeling fat.  Sorry, I hate when girls say that but it's just what happened!  OH!  But the dress- I tried it on, and it is still perfect!!  It's very interesting that when I see this dress or think of it, I'm not that interested in it.  When I put it on however, I just know that it's perfect.  I become insta-beautiful!  I take it off and become normal ol' Court.  Put it on again: VIOLA!  It's like a  magic trick.  Or like God. 

I also bought silver, glittery wedges for $25 yesterday.  Although I like the look of heels better, I am afraid wedges are really my only choice for smooth, graceful walking down the isle of a garden wedding.  You don't really see them anyway.  I just need anything to give me a little bit more of a reasonable height in order to be able to kiss my groom!!

Also, Nicole and I set a date for bridal portraits (which she is doing as a gift!!)- June 1st. 

Oh, I also received 2 more calls from people interested in house cleaning!  

Also, we went all weekend without having to spend any money.

Tomorrow I'm meeting with my dear friend Justina, who is helping us design wedding invitations!  This girl breathes art.  Plus she is a total sweetheart.  

Stuart and I both played/sang at the Morning Star in Winston Salem this morning, and enjoyed the wonderful people and the presence there.  It is real discouraging playing there because as a musician, everything you hear sounds really bad from the stage.  Today, and the last time we played there, I left thinking "Ok, I am never singing or playing again".  Then I realize later that those thoughts are actually encouraging since it's the devil trying to steal your gifts and joy, which is even more reason to keep using them. 

Nothing to lose

I'm trying this new thing with God. You could really call it 'begging'.

I can't wait to see how it goes...

I just remember someone talking in January about how we should contend with God for things He's promised us this year. One thing he promised us is that he "knows the plans he has for us; plans to prosper us and not harm us; plans for a hope and a future".

God- make your plans happen PLEEEEEEEEEASE!!

Please bring me a hope and a future. If you already know it, make it happen! I believe in you!!

Today Stuart is looking for a summer job. I'm ready to start seeing where He wants us in less than 3 months. God, where will we live? Um God, what the heck will I do? What will Stuart do? How will we pay off this debt? How will we pay for our honeymoon please? How are we going to pay for wedding rings and all the other fun things that come with a fun wedding? Please please please??? I believe in you!!! I know you have some plans for us. We're asking you every day. I know you will answer because you always come through. We are waiting and listening for you because we trust you!

I'm sharing this because just about every single person around me right now is experiencing transitions and/or money problems. We have no idea what we are supposed to do after this summer, and we have no idea how we are going to pay for the things we need to pay for.

Let's test it: God, you said you have plans for our future. I'm throwing my plans and hopes at your feet.

Please, move.

We're desperate.

Thanks, and you rule.

Amen

Renee

Let me tell you just a little about the Askews.  They live in a 97-year-old farmhouse 30 minutes from Boone that they gradually fixed up as they birthed and raised three kids.  They are professional artists, and art is everywhere in their home.  If someone is going through a hard time, Renee will have them paint on her couch as therapy.  All kinds of musical instruments hang on the walls.  There are verses and pictures all over the walls, lamps, tables and chairs, and canvases of varying size everywhere you look, painted by all five members of the family.  They buy milk from the local dairy farm, they all share one bathroom, and don't have a dishwasher.  Without some of the modern 'conveniences', you actually feel a lot more peace at their house, and even though they wash dishes by hand, they are never in a hurry but are always on time.  

Hm.....

I feel very inspired when I go there.  Thank you Askews, for being you!

Ahoy! The winds are changin'

I only realized about a week ago that many of these people in Boone that I have fallen in love with over the past 9 months are about to leave for the summer, which wouldn't be such a big deal if I weren't going to be GONE when they get back in the fall!  Yes...I can feel the change stirring up!!  Summer is creeping in in it's most glorious Boone fashion, and consequently, it's now time for something new.

Duh.  I knew this was coming.  I just didn't realize it really was coming!

You know when you're starting something new...and you're in 'starting' mode for awhile?  Like moving back to Boone, for example.  But I've kind of stayed in 'starting' mode up until finish time!  That may not be entirely true- I've really gone after what I thought this time was supposed to be for me.  I've tried to be diligent in following through the things that God had for me during this short season.  And He's brought me far- I'm no longer timid about living life in a lot of ways!   

But there was some mental blockage that made my brain think that everything would be the same in Boone until I marry Stuart and we go off on some new adventure together.  The problem is, I forgot about summer and that other people have other plans!

To my friends who will be here this summer:  We are going to have a blast!!

To my friends who are leaving:  That's ok- we'll have an eternal blast together one day soon!

Oh, PS- thanks to my mom and dad (and their connections) Stuart and I have VIP tickets to see Radiohead this friday in Charlotte!!!  May 9th is my parent's 32nd anniversary, and Stuart and my negative 3 month anniversary!