Holy Guacamole!

Hello friends!

It's Saturday morning. That means a whole lot of things, but one of which is I get a chance to step back and think about how things are going. This morning I did a lot of praying about life...I've been really frustrated lately with some things that I never wanted to be happening at this point in my life, that are happening. We are not where I always thought we would be at this point, but in many ways we are better so I have to give those things to God, let go, and relax into His peace.

I am sharing my body with another adorable, sweet, healthy, heart-beating human. That is so cool!

I am really happy in my marriage. I just love being married; we have so much fun together, and yesterday morning he made me pancakes! On a weekday!!!

So really, many things are even better than I could ever hope for, so that is what we will focus on.

I am very happy to report that at 15.5 weeks pregnant, I officially feel better than I have since July! My sweet babe is avocado sized, and big enough where I could cradle it in my hand, which in a weird way I wish I could. But no...stay in there and keep cooking, little one! We watched the "Babies" movie the other day, and on the same day I found a bunch of pregnancy magazines that my doctor's office gave us. Those 2 events made me have a turning point of getting excited about having a baby around. Reading about conception and growth of the baby was moving because it is so miraculous and crazy. We all overcame many many odds to come into existence! It's so cool how the teeny tiny egg and sperm work SO hard to do all they have to do to create life.

I also was given my 1st batch of maternity clothes by Jessi Puleo- thank you!! The only thing I have used so far is some tank tops because it's just so important to have shirts long enough to cozily cover all of my glorious mini-bump.

Becoming parents means making lots of changes. Stuart and I have been hard at work scheming our plans for next year. It is very exciting to have to make changes and I believe more things are going to open up for us that we can't even see yet. Stuart has taken lots of initiative with some new endeavors and I'm very proud and inspired by him. He's exploring the music production/management field, which he will be amazing in. I'm thankful that my job provides a month of paid maternity leave! I very much look forward to a day when I work less than 40 hours a week. Working full time has been the worst thing that ever happened to me! Why do we do that to ourselves?? Ugh.

Someday soon we will start working on a nursery. That will be interesting.

Thanks for reading!

14 weeks-that's over 1/3 of 40!

Hello. My little friend is learning how to pee this week. At 3.5 inches tall, it is the size of a lemon.

I love lemons!

Today, I feel big. Like the Grinch's heart, my stomach grew 3 sizes in one day. (I love that movie!) I have to remind myself not to feel self-conscious of my bigger-than-usual belly, especially in a room full of people who don't know me or that I'm pregnant like tonight at Charlotte 1. What would really be so bad if people just think I have a nice belly full of food? It's just a hard thing for a girl to come to terms with. Pretty sure I'm not the only one...You spend so many years trying to suck it in, but now I just can't.

I have felt sort of bad that I haven't always been excited when people ask me if I'm excited. Sometimes it just is what it is (I have always hated when Stuart says that but it makes sense right now). I wasn't planning or preparing mentally for this before it happened. I am a slow processor- I had a 14 month engagement for goodness sake! I take a nice healthy amount of time to get used to decisions and changes. I'm just not super pumped all the time, but when I do feel pumped I really savor those moments! Tonight I was talking about Baby C's developments with a friend and we both started marveling at how amazing and miraculous it is. 2 biological elements that are so SO small come together...then a human grows. Who knows how that happens! Sometimes I feel overwhelmed with gratitude that such an amazing miracle could be happening in me! But that's only happened a few times really.

I'm starting to feel like I know my kid, a little bit. Ok, DON'T JUDGE ME FOR THIS. If you do, whatever I don't care. My family has a big European influence (we have travelled there a lot and my parents still go 4 times a year as missionary counselors). I was introduced to beer (I mean good, German beer) by my dad when I was 16 in Germany. I love beer!! Last Friday, Stuart and I had had a long week, and being so diligent with our extra tight budget, had sort of just been eating crap, or nothing, for like 2 weeks. We got paid this day and decided to go on a date to Cabo Fish Taco. A date is always a good investment in any economy since marriage is such an important thing to fight for. I had a long day at work and made a decision in the car that made me smile, then laugh! "I am going to order a beer! And you are going to help me drink it! This is PERFECT!!!" I am still normal looking enough where I don't LOOK like a prego ordering a beer. And Stuart was happy to help.

My 1/2 beer was so worth it, and loved mingling with the fish taco in my happy stomach. In Europe, doctors actually recommend a glass of beer or wine to help keep the mom relaxed. No one wants a stressed out mom! But as stated, I feel like I'm getting to know my kid a little bit, and in a weird way, I felt like it should know that part of me. Now, I would not feed a newborn baby beer, but the nutrients will get filtered through my body first and I wanted it to know what tastes I like. Maybe I'm naive and crazy. But we're going to be OK.

PS: the baby is also kicking around, grimacing, and it's ears have moved from it's neck to it's head. All good things.

So proud of my little lemon.